I couldn’t think of a more appropriate name for a cliche-riddled film that fails to ignite than Off the Rails.
When Anna she dies of cancer, she leaves European rail passes for her three good friends to revisit their past adventures. Each of the middle-aged women have their issues. Cassie (Kelly Preston), who plays a nurse in a television series, has lost custody of her son. Kate (Jenny Seagrove) is a writer in financial strife. Cassie and Kate fell out years ago over the man who Cassie is now fighting for shared custody of their son. Liz (Sally Phillips), a doctor, is mothering and smothering.
They have instructions to get to the Palma Cathedral in Mallorca in Spain in five days to witness a rare occurrence known as “God’s disco ball” – the effect of the sun shining through the cathedral’s stained-glass windows. With them is Anna’s 18-year-old daughter Maddie (Elizabeth Dormer-Phillips), who dropped out of school to care for her mother. Some bickering and sniping ensues, along with a series of unfortunate incidents, including lost passports, that severely compromises their chances of making it to Palma Cathedral on time. Along the way, a number of romantic entanglements unfold, while Liz confronts an ugly truth.
Off the Rails is good at the bleeding obvious … and is all the poorer for doing so. It’s manufactured pap. The script by Jordan Waller is atrocious. It lacks creativity and zest. I thought the acting was pedestrian and unconvincing. I thought the actors lacked belief in their own characters. A lack of chemistry between the performers is a further problem. Judi Dench – in a small role – is about the only one emerging out of this with a level of integrity intact.
Off the Rails offers zero surprises. In the name of supposedly feel-good entertainment, it panders to the lowest common denominator. It had me wringing my hands and squirming in despair. Surely, an adult audience deserves better than this … much better than director Jules Williamson’s first feature film. Underlining it all is the music of Blondie.
The real tragedy though is that Off the Rails was Kelly Preston’s last film. She passed away before it was released.
Alex First
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Alex First is a Melbourne based journalist and communications specialist. He contributes to The Blurb on film and theatre.
