You’re The Man (La Mama) – theatre review

You’re The Man, a 75-minute play about the ugly face of domestic violence, is dramatic, potent and upsetting, just as it should be. Paul Mitchell has written and acts in this incendiary piece of work. Through a series of quick-fire vignettes, we piece together the story of crane operator Mark, his professional wife Phoebe and their two boys, Liam and Jack. Phoebe’s father didn’t approve of his daughter’s choice of partner, who was from the other side of the tracks. For her part, Phoebe dismissed some angry flashes from Mark before they were married. After all, they loved one another and she found him exciting.

Mark’s father was an old-style disciplinarian, with outdated values about a woman’s place, some of which he passed onto his son. From when their first child, Liam, is born there is tension between Mark and Phoebe, which only worsens when Jack comes along. Mark has a foul mouth and a volatile temper. He often lets him frustration get the better of him and lashes out. Vitriol becomes physical, as it has known to be in the past with Mark. Marriage guidance counselling doesn’t seem to help.

Mark’s greatest fear is losing access to his children. His increasingly charged behaviour is deeply and adversely affecting Phoebe and the children. Breaking point is only hastened when Mark loses his job, but there is still more to come. You’re The Man straddles the couple’s entire relationship, from when they begin courting to beyond the point that Liam receives counselling at the age of 16.

The foundations for the play were established with two particularly horrendous cases of domestic violence. In 2005, Robert Farquharson drove his children into a dam near Winchelsea. In 2009, Arthur Freeman murdered his daughter Darcey by throwing her from the Westgate Bridge. Writer Paul Mitchell was also experiencing anger due to a custody dispute post-divorce. He has channelled his lived experience and uncomfortable questions he asked himself into this important production.

You’re The Man is considered and superbly executed by a talented cast, under the direction of Theresa Borg. Drumbeats mark episodic breaks, as the piece moves back and forth in time. Justin Bell is chilling as the angry, aggressive and violent Mark. As Phoebe, Emma Choy is competent and distressed. Paul Mitchell is dogmatic and humourless as Reg. Miles Paras and Philip Hayden are believable as female and male authority figures, including a nurse, psychologist and friend. Ryland Mitchell is torn as eldest son Liam, who is trying to work through what has transpired.

Monstrous Theatre has done much with little by way of staging and props, with set and costume design by Filipe Filihia. Simple household and fishing items take on great significance as the play unfolds. The natural soundscape is the work of composer and sound designer Simon Mason, with lighting design from Finnegan Comte-Harvey taking us to the heart of darkness. I was moved, maddened and ashamed of what unfolded, acutely aware of the prevalence of domestic violence in Australia today.

The sobering figures from the 2021/22 Australian Bureau of Statistics Personal Safety Survey are these: One in six women and one in 18 men experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a current or previous cohabiting partner since the age of 15. One in four women and one in seven men experienced emotional abuse by a current or previous cohabiting partner since the age of 15. You’re The Man should be seen and appreciated for turning up the heat on a pervasive issue that can’t be sidestepped and shows no signs of abating. It is on at La Mama until 15^th September, 2024.

Alex First

Other reviews you might enjoy:

• Holding the Man (Chapel Off Chapel) – theatre review
• Variations or Exit Music (La Mama) – theatre review
• The Culture (Theatre Works’ Explosives Factory) – theatre review