Nicole Holofcener’s comedic drama You Hurt My Feelings asks whether it’s okay to lie if you’re trying to protect a loved one.
Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Don (Tobias Menzies) are a ridiculously loved-up middle-aged couple. Beth is the author of a moderately successful memoir, struggling to find a publisher for her first novel. She also teaches creative writing. Don is a psychologist, who is forever hearing others’ issues, but isn’t always respected by those who seek his guidance. The pair has a 23-year-old son, Eliot (Owen Teague), who – much to his mother’s chagrin – manages a shop that sells marijuana. Eliot is writing his first play, which is taking a long time to finish. Also in the equation is Beth’s interior designer sister Carolyn (Amber Tamblyn) and her actor husband Jonathan (Davis Cross).
Beth isn’t feeling fulfilled by her job anymore, while for Jonathan securing acting roles and then keeping them has its challenges. Beth and Carolyn donate their time to sourcing and providing free clothing to the homeless, who don’t always appreciate their efforts. They also visit their straight shooting, opinionated and quirky mother Georgia (Jeannie Berlin).
There is tension and humour in the film from the get-go, when a warring married couple go at it in a consultation session with Don. But, soon enough, that pressure is felt much closer to home, courtesy of an overheard conversation … and that’s when the film kicks up a gear.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus reeks of authenticity in You Hurt My Feelings, building her character around her “mothering” and neediness. Tobias Menzies is largely nonchalant as her measured, “go with the flow” husband. Owen Teague presents Eliot as a young man of contradictions, dealing with his own angst. Amber Tamblyn plays Carolyn as the nurturing peacekeeper. As her husband, David Cross – like many in this movie – seeks endorsement that he is good enough. In a smaller role, Jeannie Berlin makes an immediate impact when she appears on screen as the sisters’ no-nonsense mother.
She gets some of the best lines in the movie and somehow manages to deliver them with a straight face.
Populated with at times somewhat bizarre and even outlandish, conversations, You Hurt My Feelings isn’t consistently laugh-out-loud funny. Frankly, I was looking for more substance and fewer flat patches. Seinfeld, which featured Louis-Dreyfus, has been described as a highly successful TV show about nothing. It focused on the minutiae of daily life. I thought this film had overtures of that, but wasn’t as amusing or engaging. Apart from the confrontation on the couch at the start, it took a while to take off. And as it moved along there were parts that bored me. While it certainly has its moments, I felt like I was waiting for something more to happen.
In essence, You Hurt My Feelings is a relatively gentle family tale set amid well-to-do New York privilege.
Alex First
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Alex First is a Melbourne based journalist and communications specialist. He contributes to The Blurb on film and theatre.