Yoga Hosers – movie review

The comedic horror story Yoga Hosers is the second of what writer and director Kevin Smith has called the True North Trilogy. The first, Tusk (released in 2014), was based upon Smith’s weekly podcast in which he and his long-time producing partner Scott Mosier discuss current events and other random topics in a humorous way. The final instalment, Moose Jaws, will basically be Jaws with a moose instead of a shark. So, to Yoga Hosers …

This is a spin off from Tusk, involving the same detective, Guy Lapointe, played by an almost unrecognisable Johnny Depp. The stars of the piece are two teenagers, played by Depp’s daughter Lily-Rose and Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn. The plot centres around the characters the pair play, namely 15-and-a-half year old Canadians, dedicated yoga fans and social media junkies who work after school in Lily-Rose’s father’s convenience store. The store is managed by her father’s girlfriend, who the teenagers can’t stand. It’s a job they despise because it brings a bunch of losers into the shop. They often close the store when they shouldn’t so they can practice in a three-person band they have created.

Like many their age, school lessons don’t really interest the girls and history doesn’t seem relevant. That is until their history teacher (played by Lily-Rose’s mother and Depp’s former partner, Vanessa Paradis) tells them about Nazis in Canada and how back in their day these Nazis wanted all Jews exterminated. Now that ancient evil has started to rise again, this time in the form of little stormtroopers made out of bratwursts, who are beginning to make their presence felt and are killing people. These mini Nazis are about to cross swords with two determined young girlfriends and the legendary man hunter from Montreal, Guy Lapointe.

As those familiar with Kevin Smith’s work will attest, Yoga Hosers was always going to be extremely silly … filled with inane characters and stupid, puerile behavior. That is not to say there won’t be an audience for it though. Smith fans will revel in the dumbness of it all. It is best not to try to make sense of any of it, rather simply go with the flow.

If you have seen Tusk, you will have some insight into the Guy Lapointe character, but if not it hardly seems to matter all that much. My wife detested it. I smiled on occasions while still smarting from the obtuseness of the script and the nonsense perpetrated within it. I can also see a big future for 17-year-old Lily-Rose, who the camera clearly already loves and who is made of the right stuff to be a movie star in her own right. Rated M, Yoga Hosers is one only for selective tastes and scores a 5 out of 10.

Director: Kevin Smith
Cast: Johnny Depp, Genesis Rodriguez, Natasha Lyonne
Release Date: 15 September 2016 (limited)
Rating: M

Alex First