The belles from Hell are back
The
original zany look at the unholy girls' school inspired by Ronald
Searle’s anarchist cartoons is now given a shot of adrenalin
to fire it headlong it into the new century, albeit not entirely
successfully. There must come a time when old classics of comedy
are largely unseen by today’s audiences, so remakes are
inevitable. It’s the turn of The Belles of St. Trinian’s
to be revamped with a modern makeover as simply St. Trinian’s.
In the fifties and sixties an uneven series of films told the
horrors of St. Trinian’s, of which The Belles of St.
Trinian’s was the first and best.
Sadly the remake lacks the farcical talents of the
original players. They were the top comedians on the screen in
their day. These guys actually looked funny, real caricatures
which was what Searle was all about; lead by brilliantly supercilious
Alistair Sim in his dual role as headmistress and her dodgy brother.
Unforgettably sleazy George Cole as Flash Harry (later to become
Arthur Daley), slinking around in his sidling gait wearing a ridiculous
overcoat and hat, guaranteed laughs even before he spoke. Stumbling
along, the lovable inept-at-everything Joyce Grenfell managed
the British stiff upper lip with jolly smile in the face of total
devastation.
To the present version. Less than honest art dealer
Carnaby Fritton (Rupert Everett) incredibly decides to enrol his
daughter Annabelle (Talulah Riley) in the cesspit of St. Trinian's,
under the dubious guidance of his sister, headmistress Miss Millicent
Fritten (also Everett). Annabelle gets exposed having a shower
on YouTube by her classmates from Hell, and later plays in the
inevitable school war zone hockey match, a battle more bloody
than the Charge of the Light Brigade. Finally she’s accepted
despite coming from the rival ladies' college.
Flash Harry (Russell Brand) a snide conman acts
as a fence for the school’s highly illegal activities after
dark. But all is not well, as the disaster college attracts the
attention of snooty Education Minister Thwaites (Colin Firth);
while financially it’s in a terrible mess. A scheme is hatched
about half way through the movie to steal a valuable painting
from the National Gallery during an inter-school quiz competition
being held at that venue in a pastiche of several classic heist
movies, this one played purely for laughs.
The
new version looks much darker from the start, with some contemporary
touches given to the activities of the marauding maidens; who
could still learn a thing or two from the first inhabitants of
the nightmare school. More emphasis is placed on the radical students
themselves, far wider ranging in age and dress code including
Goths, a bit of a leap from the Ronald Searle’s drawings.
The plot becomes rather stretched when the heist of the painting
“Girl with a Pearl Earring” (Scarlett Johansson according
to one of the girls) from the National Gallery to save St. Trinian’s
from bankruptcy is carried out.
Alistair Sim as Millicent Fritten played the grand
dame in the manner of Queen Victoria, unfortunately Rupert Everett
(Stardust) more resembles Sir Galahad in Spamalot.
Perhaps Stephen Fry appearing as the quiz master might have been
a better choice in the dual role. And while he tries the best
of the current cast, Russell Brand the bright light of Forgetting
Susan Marshal here is no match for George Cole’s delightfully
shady and oily Flash Harry. If Kelly (Gemma Aterton) is an example,
today’s St. Trinian’s certainly has a commendable
share of mature curvaceous students.
Perfunctory direction by Oliver Parker and Barnaby
Thompson with occasional flashes of brilliance, the wild mass
of girls whooping their way into The National Gallery, the lunatic
hockey match, and appealing performance of the twins Tania (Cloe
Mackie) and Tara (Holly Mackie) being among the brighter moments.
Photography tends to a modest budget quality.
Given the crime and violence in some American schools,
perhaps the mayhem of St. Trinian’s isn’t
as over the top as in 1954. Even lacking the panache of the fifties
film, the largely female late teenage audience were laughing in
the right places. For its target demographic, this may be an amusing
introduction to the feral femmes, however should you be able to
find the original at your video shop, it’s still the best
option.
John Bale
