AIDS and the man
Holding
the Man is based on the memoirs of the same name by Tim Conigrave.
It condenses Tim’s and John Caleo’s relationship into
2½ hours, starting in high school whre John (Matt Zeremes)
and Tim (Guy Edmonds) first met. It follows their relationship
through university, deals with John’s father’s attempts
to break them up, Tim’s experimental university lifestyle
and studying at NIDA, breaking up, getting back together and their
infection with AIDS. John predeceased Tim. It wasn’t until
after John’s death in 1992 that Tim wrote his autobiography.
The walls of the set are populated with mirrors
surrounded with light bulbs, like the ones used in theatre dressing
rooms. There are photos stuck into the frames of each mirror that
represent a life lived. All the mirrors are covered in drop cloths
which are removed every now and again. Tables and chairs are brought
in and struck, as necessary. Except for the two lead actors, all
the other actors play a variety of roles. This has a way of focusing
your attention on Edmonds and Zeremes – especially Edmonds
- which is exactly how it should be.
At the performance I attended people were in tears
by the play’s conclusion. From what I’ve heard this
is not a rare occurrence for this play. Holding the Man
started at the Stables Theatre in Kings Cross and moved to Belvoir
in September this year. Its season has now been extended to December,
which tells you a lot about this play’s appeal.
Conigrave’s love story continues to move audiences.
It seems to connect with them in a way Conigrave hoped but only
imagined. It does so in a way that is a balm to the spirit. It
restores your faith in people that they can connect with such
characters, the likes of which many will never meet in real life.
Yet they do connect with them, are moved to tears by them. Perhaps
because Holding the Man is more than just a gay love
story, it’s a story we can all relate to – finding
our way through life, discovering who we are, falling in and out
of love, doing the best we can and stuffing things up.
Life has a way of throwing us curve balls. It never
turns out the way we envision it will. No-one knew this better
than Tim Conigrave. Yet he writes with such humour, often self-deprecating,
always warm, honest, loving and playful. Holding the Man
carries a message of hope, educating without lecturing and always
entertaining. It’s a tragic love story, but it’s also
very affirming. That two human beings can love each other so much,
no matter what their sexual orientation, is something to be celebrated.
It’s part of what makes Holding the Man such a powerful
theatrical experience.
If you’re squeamish about gay love, then you
have to see this play. If you’re ignorant about AIDS and
its effect on people, you need to see this play. Yes, there is
kissing involved. Girls kiss girls, boys kiss boys. There’s
also swearing and a hilarious masturbation scene. But no, it’s
not pornographic. It’s confronting in parts. The conversation
about anal sex comes to mind. The life size AIDS puppet is also
difficult to watch, and enormously effective. But the reward for
sticking with Holding the Man is a huge emotional payoff at the
end.
Tim’s memoir is a homage to the great love
of his life, John. Tim only survived John by two years. In that
time he wrote this story, ensuring that he and John would live
forever, not just in each others hearts, but in the hearts of
everyone who bears witness to their story.
Philippa Wherrett
